A Year of Gratitude – March 13, 2024

I found my gratitude in myself today. I should probably look for gratitude there more often, but I tend to focus on the things around me instead. Actively seeking out gratitude is a practice, something you have to choose to continue to work at. I need to work at looking inward more often.

But back to my gratitude. We woke up to a glorious day. The sun was bright and the temperatures were warm, especially for this time of year in New England. I decided to take a little walk after finishing up my morning farm chores. It was just too nice to be in a hurry to head back into the house.

Because the weather was so warm, I had grabbed a baseball hat instead of my knit hat when heading outside. I needed something to shelter my face from the bright sunshine instead of a hat to protect me from the wintry, windy weather we’ve had the last few days.

As I was walking into the woods, I grabbed my phone to take a few photos to share with you in the coming days. When I unlocked my phone and turned on my camera, the front facing camera came on. There I was, early in the morning, in the woods, tromping around with my work boots on, when I accidentally took a selfie.

I didn’t think much of it, but I did quickly turn off the front facing camera. I much prefer being behind the camera rather than the subject of a photo. I walked around a bit, avoiding the water from the several inches of rain we’ve received lately.

I found a small clearing just large enough to allow the sunlight to reach the ground. I stood there for a few minutes, eyes closed. I breathed deep and enjoyed the warm, fresh air as it filled my lungs. I listened to the birds overhead, trying to make out what species they were. I stood still for a bit and just became part of the landscape.

I opened my eyes and watched as the birds flit about from tree to tree. I caught sight of a small chipmunk bounding through the dry leaves and sticks, determined to go about its business in spite of me standing there.

When I got back to the farmhouse, I found Penny Lane waiting for me. She had curled up on her bed in front of her favorite window. The sunlight was shining on her and she was happy to see me, but not sure that she wanted to leave such a warm and cozy spot.

She was happy to leave it once she realized I had a buttered piece of sourdough bread on my breakfast plate. She came to join me on the couch, making sure to remind me with her soulful look that she would be happy to finish the last bite for me. I didn’t need reminding. I know that she always hopes for the last bite. She knows that she’ll always get it.

Once I was done with breakfast, I started looking through the photos. There are a few that I can’t wait to share with you. There were plenty that just didn’t capture what I wanted to, that were pale comparisons to what I had seen while standing in the sunlight.

Then there was this accidental selfie. Me in my baseball hat. The old barn is just visible beyond the tree line behind me.  I would usually delete this sort of photo. I decided today that I didn’t want to. Instead, I wanted to be grateful not necessarily for the selfie, but for the reminder that I could be grateful for myself, for the years I have lived, the lessons I have learned, and the fact that I am still looking for the good in this world, trying to find beauty and joy in ordinary places.

I know that there’s a school of thought that there aren’t any accidents in life, that everything happens for a reason. Perhaps the accidental selfie taken on a day when I was searching for peace and meaning wasn’t accidental. Maybe it happened to remind me to look inward more often, to close my eyes and find beauty in myself. It will take practice, but I’m willing to keep trying. I hope that you are too.

This post is part of our A Year of Gratitude Series. You can find the introduction, inspiration, and entire year’s gratitude’s posts here.